


*

by Forever_Done (Decaf1993)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decaf1993/pseuds/Forever_Done
Summary: There aren't any chapters in this fic..sorry if it's an inconvenience!





	

**Author's Note:**

> There aren't any chapters in this fic..sorry if it's an inconvenience!

It was starting again. The splitting headaches and the nightmares. Nightmares filled with blood, fire and a pair of the most beautiful eyes, unnaturally blue. The nightmares had been happening for weeks now, and even the sleeping pills her doctor had prescribed were beginning to lose their effect.   
“Fuck,” she grumbled as she got out of bed. 2:26 a.m. the clock read. Time for a cigarette, she thought as she threw on her robe and slippers to head outside. As she sat down at the end of her walkway she noticed a strange car parked on the street, but didn’t think much of it. She was still concentrated on her dream. It was the same every time. She was terrified, surrounded by flames and covered in blood, screaming for someone to help her, desperately trying to find a way out. Then all she saw were the beautiful eyes, and she’d wake up drenched in sweat, breathing heavily with her blankets twisted all around her. The eyes looked so familiar to her but no matter how much she thought about them (which was more often than not these days) she could not figure out why. About halfway through her smoke, a voice broke her from her thoughts.  
“Hey sweetheart.” Her head snapped up and about five feet away from her stood a very handsome, rugged-looking man whom she did not know but seemed oddly familiar.  
“Who the hell are you?” She responded, her heartbeat quickened because after all it was 2:30 in the morning. Why was this man even awake, nevermind out and about, bothering complete strangers.   
A pained look crossed the man’s face as he muttered something that sounded like ‘Dammit Gabriel’ After looking at her for a moment he said, “Look Lana, I need you to trust me. You know me I swear, please just come with me.”   
“How the hell did you know my name?” Now she was really starting to get scared. “I don’t know who you are, I don’t know how you know my name, and there’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere with you! Just stay away from me!” She flicked her cigarette and got up. Not wanting to turn her back on the strange man she started to back away while he was looking down muttering to himself. This guy’s out of his goddamn mind, she thought to herself. She continued to her front door quietly, until she ran into something. There shouldn’t be a wall here, she thought as she slowly turned around and realized what she had backed into was a man wearing a dark suit and a trench coat. Instinctively, she jumped back.  
“You found her.” the new man stated.   
“Yeah Cas,” he replied. “I finally found her.” She looked from one man to the other and started hyperventilating . She began to realize that not only the first man, but both men were strangely familiar to her. As she looked at Cas’s face it came to her.  
“You,” she said “You’re eyes…” Cas and the other man looked at each other and then back at her, their faces quizzical. “I’ve been seeing your eyes in my nightmares for weeks,” she explained “but they were glowing, this absolutely beautiful blue color.”   
The men looked at each other, and the stranger nodded his head toward the man named Cas. He approached her slowly and said, “You mean like this?” As his eyes lit up that strange luminescent blue she saw every night in her head. She would have screamed but Cas had anticipated that and had clamped his hand over her mouth. “I am going to take my hand off your mouth and you are going to answer Dean’s questions.” he said and she hastily nodded her head in agreement. Slowly he removed his hand from her mouth. At this point she was shaking, she was so terrified, What the hell is this guy, he’s definitely not human she thought.   
“You don’t remember me at all, Lana?” Dean said, looking at you. His expression was one of hurt, like he was upset that she didn’t know who he was.   
“No,” she said “I’m sorry, I really don’t.” she replied with genuine remorse, because of the pained look on his face.  
He looked at Cas. “Can you restore her memory?” Cas looked at her.   
“I can try.” He replied. He approached her with his right hand up, pointer and middle finger outstretched, all the others tucked in. She jumped back.  
“What are you going to do? I don’t need my memory restored!” She exclaimed. “I know who I am!”  
“No, actually, you don’t Lana.” Dean said, walking toward her. “You aren’t a waitress, you don’t really live here, and you don’t even know the people you call family!”   
“What the hell are you talking about?” She said, “Of course I know them!” At this point, Dean and Lana were inches from each other. Cas stepped between the two of them.  
“Please listen to me Lana. You do know this man, you simply do not remember. Can I try to bring those memories back?” He asked, a slight pleading tone to his voice.  
She looked from Cas to Dean several times and thought Okay, if they were going to hurt me, they would have already, right? They honestly both looked hurt. Cas was looking at her with concern, waiting on her answer. Dean had an imploring look on his face, like all he wanted on this entire planet was for her to remember him.  
After a few moments of looking at Dean, she had this unshakeable feeling and she said “Okay, you can try.” He came toward her with the same motion and gently touched her forehead. Almost instantly she went to her knees. Flashes of memories were coming to her, images of monsters and her in dark places fighting God knows what, flashes of Cas and a tall brown-haired man, laughter on their faces along with Dean walking arm-in-arm with her down a city street and finally the flames, blood and Cas’s eyes like she’d been dreaming of for weeks now.   
When she finally came back to reality she was panting on the ground in her front yard. Cas was looking down at her, his hand still stretched toward her forehead, and Dean was at her side asking her if she was okay.  
“I’m fine,” she said “but that was insane.”   
“What did you see?” Cas asked her.   
“It was just bits and pieces of what felt like memories, there were monsters, and you two were there along with another man I don’t know, and then my nightmare.”   
Cas turned to Dean, “The block is stronger than I thought. I cannot bring all the memories back at once, it will take sessions, unless we can find Gabriel and convince him to take the block out of her mind. She needs to come with us.”   
“I can’t just up and leave with you two!” she yelled, “I don’t even know you!”   
“Dammit Lana, didn’t we just prove that you do?!” Dean said.  
“Not really! You could have had Cas plant memories in my head! I have no idea!”  
“You can either come with us willingly, or we’re going to take you. If you just come with us I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Dean promised.  
Okay, she thought these people are insane, this guy and this whatever-he-is, they’re going to kidnap me anyways. I might as well just go, at least I’ll have my cell and know where I am, and if I can call the police I can tell them exactly where that is. It seemed like going along with this plan was a better idea than just getting blindfolded and thrown in a trunk. “Fine,” she said “I’ll go as long as I can grab some of my stuff first.” she started up the steps and they began to follow. She turned around and said, “No way, you two stay here A) I don’t want to wake up my roommate and B) my room is a nightmare and I don’t want you to see it. Just stay here and I’ll be down in ten minutes. I just need to take a quick shower and grab some stuff.”   
Dean groaned “Girls take forever when they shower! Please, you can take one when we get back to the bunker!”   
“Fine!” she snapped “Then let me get some clothes!” Annoyed that they were dragging her off in the middle of the night anyways, nevermind without taking a shower in the comfort of her own home. She huffed and started up the stairs. She walked into her room and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, then began grabbing various items. Normal stuff; shirts, pants, undergarments, she looked under her bed and hesitated. She realized that if she snuck out the back door they’d be none the wiser. She went and peeked out the window. Both men were still standing out front. She went back into her room and pulled the safe out from under her bed. She put in the code and opened it up. Again, she paused. Other than her initial practice when she gotten her license to carry, she had never shot a gun before, but she had bought the Beretta M9 just to make herself feel safe. She grabbed all the ammo and stuffed it in the side pocket of her backpack, and grabbed the loaded pistol, made sure the safety was on, she stuffed it in the waistband of her jeans. With one last look at the two men outside, she headed quietly toward the back door.

She had made it to her car and out of the lot with no problem. She couldn’t see them, all she could do was hope they didn’t notice. It had already been about 20 minutes and she assumed that they knew she had split. Realistically they should have expected it. What sane person just runs off with two people they don’t even know? She turned up her music, and concentrated on driving. She had no idea where she was going, all she knew was she needed to get far away at least for the next few days. She headed down the highway and just kept going. Another 15 minutes went by. She heard something that sounded like the flutter of wings, and suddenly Cas was sitting in her passenger seat. She screamed and almost went off the road.   
“How the HELL did you DO THAT?!” she yelled.  
“Simple,” he replied “ Lana, I am an angel of the Lord. My name is Castiel.”  
He’s crazier than I thought...but how the hell did he do that? She asked herself. “You expect me to believe that? You sound insane!”   
Castiel hesitated. “Lana...we need to go get Dean. He can explain it better than I can. My people skills are a little rusty.”   
“Like hell I am going back to Dean. Why can’t you guys just leave me alone?!”  
“We can’t ‘just leave you alone’ Lana. People are looking for you. More specifically, demons are. Crowley’s minions have been scouring the country for you. Luckily you are warded and not easy to locate.”   
All she could do was look at him. She didn’t know what to think or say. Her head felt like it was about to explode. She kept thinking This has to be a dream. Any minute I’m going to wake up at home and in my bed.   
“Please Lana. I know you thought Dean and I looked familiar when you saw us. That is why you even agreed to talk to us. Dean will explain it better. Just drive back to your apartment. Please. I do not want to have to make you. I swear you can trust us.”   
She pulled the car into a lot on the side of the highway and parked. “This is insane.” She said. She couldn’t believe she was actually considering going with these people. She didn’t even know them, those memories could have been faked. It was clear these two weren’t going to leave her be. Although they were strangers, she felt oddly safe with them. Like her subconscious was trying to tell her it was okay to go. After a few minutes, she turned to Cas. “Okay, but I need to know where we’re going.”  
“Lebanon, Kansas.” he replied “I would just bring you there, but Dean insists on driving you.”   
“Okay, well I guess we’ll head back to my apartment to get Dean.”   
“I will go let Dean know you are on your way back.” And he was gone.   
Lana sat there for a moment, letting everything sink in. Demons were looking for her? What the hell did that even mean? She believed in things like ghosts and she liked to believe in angels. But demons? It was a little too much for her. She was having trouble believing this was real. As she pulled out of the parking lot she decided she was having a mental breakdown and when she got home the men would be gone and she could return to her normal life.   
When she finally got home the two men were no longer outside. Maybe I was right, she thought I seriously need some sleep. As she neared her apartment she heard a loud crash. She pulled out her Beretta and switched the safety off. She entered as quietly as possible and took in the violent scene that was unfolding in front of her. Dean was on the floor, unconscious, lying on top of her broken glass coffee table. She looked up and saw her roommate fighting Castiel.   
“Carolyn what are you doing?! Castiel stop!” she yelled and both looked up at her.  
“Lana, run! Get out of here! I will find you!” screamed Castiel just before Carolyn tossed him aside like a ragdoll.  
“Oh no,” she said “The girl isn’t going anywhere. I’ve been looking for her for far too long to lose her now.” The front door slammed shut and locked itself . Lana ran to it and tried with all her might to open it, but couldn’t. “Crowley’s been looking for you for a long time my dear. Have you been hiding here this whole time?” She asked as she looked at Lana with eyes black as coal. Lana said nothing; just held up the gun and pointed it directly at Carolyn’s chest. The demon laughed, “Oh darling that isn’t going to do anything but hurt Carolyn. Sweet girl by the way. She’s attempting to take back over but, she’s simply not strong enough.” She said, a sick smile on her face. She approached Lana and stopped right in front of her. “Personally, I don’t know why Crowley is trying so hard to find you. You’re nothing special.” She slammed her hand into Lana’s throat, shoving her up against the door “I should just kill you now, tell him you died in the crossfire.” Lana was gasping for air, trying to rip the fingers from her throat. The edge of her vision began to go black. As she started to lose consciousness she heard Dean say “Not today, bitch.” and the pressure was gone. Lana slumped to the floor, gasping, trying her hardest not to pass out. Carolyn laid in front of her, blood pooling around her body. Her head was spinning What the hell just happened.. she thought. She was vaguely aware that Dean was talking to her but she couldn’t concentrate on his words. It sounded muffled, like there was water rushing through her ears. All she could do was look at Carolyn, at her eyes that stared off into nowhere, completely blank and cold. She could feel the tears streaming down her face. She slowly crawled toward Carolyn. She had been the first friend Lana had made when she moved to this town about a year ago. She gently swept the hair off her friends face and shut Carolyn’s eyes. I’m so sorry Carolyn… She started to hear Dean and Castiel talking to each other.  
“She is in shock Dean, she cannot hear you.”  
“Well we have to get the hell out of here, it’s only a matter of time before the cops show up.”   
All she knew was that Dean was right. The cops were definitely on their way and at best, Carolyn had attacked and it was self defense; at worst she was an accomplice to murder. Lana stood up and looked at the two men. “Let’s go.” was all she said. She grabbed her backpack and opened the front door. With one last look at her friend she headed outside and the men followed her, shutting the door behind them. 

She woke up in a room she didn’t recognize. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and remember what had happened. The men showing up in her yard, Castiel appearing in her car, the fight and what happened to Carolyn. She laid back on the bed and rubbed her eyes. She couldn’t even wrap her head around it. She didn’t even remember getting in a car and driving to wherever the hell she was. Lebanon maybe? She thinks that’s what Castiel said. The last thing she remembers is shutting Carolyns lifeless eyes. After a little while she got up, seeing the aspirin and water next to her bed, she took it and looked at herself in the mirror that hung on the wall. She was an absolute mess. Her hair was ratty, her make up smeared all over her face. She looked down at her clothes and they were stained a dark rusty color. She was still covered in Carolyns blood. She found her backpack on the chair and pulled out a change of clothes. She began to look around the room and realized-thank God- that there was an attached bathroom. She found a towel in the linen closet, grabbed her bathroom supplies and took a long hot shower hoping it would make her feel a little better.   
She stepped out of the shower and got dressed. She put on her make-up and did her hair, trying to keep even an ounce of normalcy in her life. When she was finished she decided to go find Dean and Castiel. She walked out of the room and looked down the hallway. It looked like a hospital or a military building. It was strange. She picked a direction and headed down the hall. As she approached a bend she heard voices.  
“I can fix it Dean, I just need time.” said Cas.  
“We don’t have time Cas! We need her to remember now! She needs to be able to defend herself. We can’t re-teach her everything she’s learned over the years in a few days!”  
“Dean, relax, we’ll find a way. If Cas says he can fix it then he will just give him some time.” Said a man whose voice Lana didn’t recognize.  
“I can’t relax Sam! She has no idea what’s going on and when she wakes up she’s going to be terrified! I don’t want her to feel like that. We need to find Gabriel, like, now!” Dean said angrily.  
At this, she walked into the room. “Hi guys.” She said. They all looked up at her and Dean and the man she assumed was Sam smiled at her simultaneously. She recognized him from one of the memories Castiel had brought back.   
“Hey sweetheart. You hungry?” Dean asked.  
“Yeah, actually I’m starving.” She answered.  
“I would be too after sleeping for 13 hours straight.” Sam said, “Oh right. I’m Sam.”   
“Hi Sam. So who’s Gabriel and why do you need to find him?” she asked as the three of them walked to the kitchen.  
Dean and Sam looked at one another, clearly trying to figure out a way to explain it without sounding totally ridiculous. “How about we get some food in you first. How does bacon and eggs sound?” asked Dean, trying to avoid her question.   
She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Fine, but you two better get your explanation ready because I’d like to know why my life has been ruined in a matter of 24 hours. Do you have any coffee in this place?”   
“Yeah I’ll get you some.” Said Sam as he got up.  
“Milk-”  
“-and two sugars. Right?”  
“Yeah. So you apparently know me too.”  
“Yeah. We’ve known each other for a while actually.”  
“How long is awhile?” She asked.   
“About five years, right Dean?”  
“Yup,” he replied, “It’s actually a funny story. We’ll tell you after you eat.” As he set a plateful of wheat toast with butter, bacon nice and crispy, and an egg fried over hard with crushed red and black pepper.. Her favorite breakfast.   
She began eating, and looked up at the two men who were just sitting there watching her. “Well run along, go get your stories straight. I don’t need you two staring at me while I eat.”   
They laughed, got up and headed to the library. As they were walking away she heard Dean say “Still sassy as ever..that’s my girl.”   
Once they left she put her fork down and ran her fingers through her hair. She couldn’t handle this. It was insane. Monsters? Angels? Demons? They were looking for her? Carolyn had even said it, or whatever was inside Carolyn. She wondered if they had found her body yet. The police would be looking for her. Who was Crowley and why did he want to find her? Head in her hands she began to cry. All she really wanted was to go home. Her real home. Talk to her mom. But she hadn’t been able to do that since she was seven. Her parents died in a car accident. She barely remembered them. She had stayed with a distant aunt until she was eighteen. By then she had already bought a car and she decided to get her own apartment right down the street from her aunt. A year ago she decided she needed a fresh start. She left Ohio and moved to Hotchkiss, Colorado. A small town off highway 92. It was a nice town. A little over a thousand people. She had been staying at a motel for a low rate and got a job at a restaurant in the center of town. Her first shift Carolyn trained her. They had hit it off instantly, they liked the same music and tv shows, they both absolutely loved Will Smith movies. After about a week Carolyn had mentioned she needed to find a roommate to help with the rent. Lana had instantly jumped at the chance. She was sick of the motel and moving in with Carolyn seemed like a great idea. They had fun together. She’d never forgive herself for what happened. Thinking about Carolyn, she totally lost control. What’s happening to my life.. she thought as she began to sob. She cried for her friend, for her parents, even for herself. She didn’t know what to do. Then she heard the flutter of wings and felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Castiel.  
“What is wrong, Lana?”   
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t really care. I just want my life back.”  
“Well to be fair, that was not your life. Not really. You have been a hunter since you were very young, and your parents were taken by a werewolf while you were camping.”   
She looked at him, shocked. “What the hell are you talking about? My parents were killed in a car accident!”  
“No they were not. That is part of the block Gabriel put in your mind. You were camping in New Hampshire and a newborn werewolf dragged them out of their tent. Bobby had been tracking it and got you out.” She felt like all the air had just been sucked out of the room. Werewolves? What the hell? “When Bobby realized you had nowhere to go he took you under his wing and took care of you. Trained you to be a hunter. You met Sam and Dean when you were eighteen, and you had hunted with them on and off, then after Bobby died you started staying with them full time. Up until a year ago, when Gabriel hid you away. The only thing that you remember that has been real is every memory after you moved to Hotchkiss.”   
“CAS WHAT THE HELL!” It was Dean, and he looked livid. “We told you we’d take care of talking to her! What the hell man you’re gonna give her a damn heart attack!”   
“I am sorry Dean, she was crying, and I thought telling her the truth would help.”  
“Is it true?” she asked looking up at Dean, tears in her eyes still, “Is what he said true Dean?” She said with more anger in her voice.   
He looked pained, “Yes Lana, it’s all true. I’m sorry, I was going to tell you, I just wanted to get my thoughts together before I talked to you about it.”   
Sam had just entered, the commotion drawing him to the room. Having heard what Dean said, and he knelt beside Lana who was staring at the floor, tears streaming down her face and slowly nodding her head. “Are you okay?” She looked at him and laughed.   
“Am I okay? I am the farthest from okay I have ever fucking been. I just watched my best friend get murdered because she was a demon, I’m being chased by some nutjob named Crowley,” she said, her voice shaking and growing louder, “Some asshole named Gabriel screwed around with my head and my memories, my parents were killed by a WEREWOLF and I’ve basically been kidnapped by two men I don’t know and a GODDAMN ‘ANGEL OF THE LORD’. NO. I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY.” She got up and began to pace, “How the hell do I even know if you people are telling the truth? I mean I know you aren’t human,” pointing at Castiel, “but demons, werewolves, angels, are you gonna tell me that vampires are real next?” The boys exchanged looks that gave away the answer. “Don’t fucking answer that. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON,” she screamed, “WHO IS GABRIEL AND HOW DO WE GET HIM HERE?!”   
Dean walked toward her, “Lana, take a breath, calm down.”   
“I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN!” Dean reached for her, instinctively she reached out, grabbed his wrist, twisted it behind his back and slammed him headfirst into the table. Castiel grabbed her from behind and Sam started toward her as well. Using his own momentum against him she slammed Castiel against the wall, kicked her legs up and booted Sam in the chest with both feet. This loosened Castiel’s grip and she grabbed his forearm and threw him into Dean who was just standing up. They slammed foreheads and fell to the floor. She stood there, breathing heavily staring at the three grown men she had just tossed around like they weighed nothing. How the hell did I even do that..   
All three boys were looking at her, wondering if she would attack again. After a minute Dean stood up, and helped the other two off the floor. His forehead dripping blood. He looked at her, a smirk on his face. “There’s my girl..I’ve been looking for you.” She stood there in shock. “You two okay?” He asked, Sam and Castiel both nodded. “Good. C’mon Lana, you’re gonna help me clean this up.” He said pointing to his bloody forehead. She just nodded and followed, unsure of what to say.   
Dean led her into what she could only assume was his bathroom. He grabbed a first aid kit from the closet and set it on the vanity “Here, let me..” She said and sat him down on the edge of the tub. She grabbed the disinfectant and some gauze, soaked it and kneeled to clean the gash on his forehead. “I’m sorry Dean. I lost it, I’m just scared. Terrified actually.” She wasn’t looking at him but concentrating on cleaning his forehead.  
“It’s okay sweetheart. Honestly, I’m happy to see that you can still kick ass.”   
She laughed and said, “Well I guess it does prove a few things because in my memories, I have never fought anyone my entire life.” She placed a butterfly stitch over his wound, looked into his eyes and said “There. All better.” Their faces were maybe an inch from each other. She noticed how beautiful his eyes were, for the first time. They were this rich green color speckled with brown and gold, after a moment she realized he was staring at her lips. She blushed and stammered “Well..I guess we should uh, go check on the other victims?”   
“Absolutely,” he replied “we definitely should go do that.” She could have sworn he looked disappointed.

They found Sam in the library. Cas was nowhere to be seen. Lana attempted to apologize, “Listen Sam, I’m really sorry I lost my cool I’m just-”  
“Lana don’t apologize. You’re scared and confused. I’m just glad you can still fend for yourself if need be. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ll just be bruised.” Sam said with a playful smile.  
“Where’d Cas go?” asked Dean.  
“He felt awkward I think, so he left.” Sam replied.  
“Alright, we need to talk guys,” Lana said,”I need to know what’s going on. Who is Gabriel?”   
Dean looked at Sam, and he nodded his head toward Dean almost to say ‘take it away..’ Dean sighed. “I know how crazy this sounds. Gabriel is an archangel. Like Cas is an angel, but stronger. Like, way stronger. We had worked with him a few times, and we asked him to help you hide from Crowley. Only he hid you from everyone. You with me so far?”  
“Yeah,” she answered, “But why is Crowley looking for me? Who is he?”  
“Crowley is..well he’s the king of Hell actually.” Sam said.   
She paused, taking in this bit of information. The KING of HELL? “Okay...Jesus, I need a drink. So what does the king of Hell want with me?”   
“Well there’s a type of demon called a crossroads demon. That’s what he is. These demons make deals with you. Usually what you want in exchange for your soul, and they give you ten years most of the time. But...Hell kind of has it out for us..you usually get months for one of our souls. You got a year and you dealt directly with Crowley because you’re considered one of us.”   
“So, how long do I have before Crowley wants my soul? And what did I make a deal for?  
“Your year is actually up..that’s why he’s been looking so hard. And,” Sam stammered, “well you um, you made a deal-”  
“You made a deal for my life.” Dean said quietly, with a look of total sorrow on his face as he set down a glass of whiskey in front of her. “Cas was still in Purgatory, I was dying and you went to the nearest crossroad to make a deal.”  
“We couldn’t let you go to Hell, Lana. That’s why we asked Gabriel for help. Besides, we figured he would help. He likes you, and he doesn’t like humans all that much.”   
She let that sink in while she drained her glass. “Okay...okay..” she said. After a minute she looked at Dean and put her hand on his arm. He looked at her, and she said “I must have really liked you, huh?” with a smile on her face. Almost to let him know it was okay. She had a feeling that if she remembered, she wouldn’t have anything differently. He smiled back at her.  
“Yeah...I guess you did. If I had known I never would have let you.”   
“Good thing you didn’t know then. So, how do we contact Gabriel?”   
“...We can’t. We’ve prayed to him and he hasn’t come.”  
“Is that how you contact angels? By praying to them?”  
“Yup,” answered Sam, “Go ahead, pray to the other angel we know.” He said with a wink. She shut her eyes and thought Castiel, I’m sorry if I hurt you I’m just scared. Please come back. She heard the flutter of wings that was becoming familiar, and Cas was there.   
“I’m sorry Cas-”  
“Do not worry Lana, I heard your prayer. I understand. Did they explain a few things to you?”  
“Yes Cas, we did. We explained who Gabriel is, and why Crowley is looking for her. I told her to pray to you so she could test it out.” answered Sam.   
“I will always listen for your prayers Lana, never be afraid to call for me.”   
“Okay Cas. Thank you. So, do you think if I prayed to Gabriel, he’d come?”  
The guys looked at each other. “I mean, you could give it a try Lana.” Dean said.   
Gabriel, this is Lana. I need you. Please come here and help me. She opened one eye and looked around. It was just Dean, Sam and Castiel. No Gabriel.   
“It was worth a shot.” Sam said at the same time Dean said,   
“We figured if you were with us he wouldn’t come. Anyways, we need to get some supplies. You guys want anything?”  
“Actually Dean, I’ll come with you. Cas, do you mind staying with Lana?”  
“Of course not. We will see you when you get back.”  
“Could you get me a pack of smokes? Menthols please. I have money.”  
“Don’t worry Lana, already on my list. There’s an ashtray in the drawer of the nightstand in your room.” Dean said.  
She smiled and said “Thanks guys.” After they left she got up. “I’m going to my room Cas, feel free to come with me.” She walked down the hall to her room and sat down on the bed, trying to process all this information. She wished Gabriel had come when she prayed to him. Castiel came into her room and told her he’d been called to Heaven and if she needed anything to call for him. After he left, she opened up her drawer, grabbed the ashtray and lit up a smoke. She laid back on the bed and tried again to pray to Gabriel, If you can hear me Gabriel, I really need to talk to you. Please. I need to know what’s going on. Again, he was a no-show. “Fuck” she said, frustrated. She stubbed out her cigarette and decided to go to the library and find something to read. Preferably something to fill her in on this angel/demon/monster stuff. She grabbed another cup of coffee and sat down at the table with a stack of books. She heard the flutter of wings, and turned around, “Hey Cas, everything-” She stopped short, because it wasn’t Castiel. “Gabriel?” she asked.  
“In the flesh, sugar.” He said with a smile. “I figured since the three stooges weren’t around it would be a good time for us to talk.”   
He wasn’t what she expected; he was short, his long dirty blond hair slicked back and was that a lollipop in his hand? She had pictured an archangel to be a little more intimidating. Now that he was there she wasn’t really sure what to say.  
“So, they found you, huh? Took ‘em awhile though. I hid you away pretty good I thought. Good enough that Crowley couldn’t get his hands on you.”  
“I need my memories back Gabriel. I need to know what happened.”   
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Lana. I need to move you again. I hear Georgia’s nice this time of year. How does that sound?”   
“No, Gabriel. Please. I know you can take the block out. I want my memories back. I got attacked by a demon after they found me. I need to be able to defend myself.”  
“I never would have let them hurt you Lana. I’m sorry about your friend Carolyn by the way. Just let me move you again. I’ll make sure no one finds you this time. It’s better that way.”   
“No. Please. I don’t want to leave them again. I don’t want you messing around in my head. I just want my memories back, I can’t just up and leave again. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to me. I can’t help but feel like...like I’m supposed to be here Gabriel. This is my fight, and I need to deal with it head-on, not run away with my tail tucked between my damn legs!”   
Gabriel laughed, “Even with the block, you’re the exact same. That’s what you said when you were fighting me the last time we spoke. I’m going to give you the same answer. I have to protect you, Lana. You’re my favorite human. I don’t want Crowley getting his hands on you.”  
“I don’t need protecting, I need to deal with this! Gabriel I don’t want to live a lie! I need to know who I am!”   
“Why would you want this life?!” he asked, his patience wearing thin “All your life has been is pain and death! I don’t get why you wouldn’t WANT to get away from that! I don’t want Crowley taking you! Lana, you don’t know what he has planned for you! I DO! I can’t allow that to happen. Please, just let me move you again. I’m begging you.”   
“No Gabriel. Whatever it is, I can handle it. Just give me my memories. I won’t bother you again. If you don’t, I’ll just pray to you non-stop and drive you nuts. I need my memories.”  
Gabriel threw up his hands in defeat and huffed. “Fine! Have it your way..just remember. If you change your mind, all you need to do is pray to me, and I’ll come take you away.”  
“Can I ask you something Gabriel?”  
“Of course you can sugar. Ask away.”  
“Why did you agree to help me in the first place?”  
Gabriel sighed and looked toward the ceiling. “Like I said, you’re my favorite human. We hit it off the minute we met. You were so damn sassy, and the way you carried yourself, your no-nonsense attitude. It was perfect. You’re the closest thing to a perfect human being Dad ever made, and if I was human I’d most likely be in love with you. That’s why I want to protect you. I don’t want you to get taken to Hell. What he has planned is far worse than anything you’d go through in the bottom of the pit.” he came toward her, his hand outstretched, “Just remember what I said to you before, if you change your mind, pray to me. And if I were you, I wouldn’t tell Sam and Dean why Crowley wants you so bad.” He hesitated, as if there was something else he wanted to say, but all he did was sigh and quietly say “Goodbye sugar.” He put two fingers to her forehead.

When Lana came to, Gabriel was gone. She was sitting in the library of the bunker. She remembered everything. Holy shit.. Gabriel had been right. Her whole life was pain and death. She remembered when her parents died and Bobby took her in as his own. She remembered him teaching her how to shoot a gun, how to exorcise a demon. He taught her Latin and Greek. She remembered the day she lost him. She remembered the apocalypse and how she had lost her best friend, Jo and her mom Ellen to hellhounds. Jo’s mom had been like a mother to Lana as well. She remembered every painful thing she had ever been through. She remembered fighting vampires and wendigos, djinns and werewolves. She had even been in the pit at one point. It had only been two months, but it had felt like years. Cas and Gabriel has dragged her back topside. She remembered Dean getting stabbed with an angel blade when they’d been attacked by leviathans, and the deal she made with Crowley to save him. Gabriel was right. It was worse than any torture she would have suffered in a normal deal. She remembered how hard she fought him when he told her he was going to hide her from Sam and Dean as well. She didn’t even want to hide, the boys made her. And it’s kind of hard to fight an archangel. Holy shit, I need a cigarette.  
When the boys got back she was sitting cross-legged on the table of the library. “Hey boys.”  
“Hi Lana. Where’s Cas?” Sam asked.  
“Oh, I guess he got called to Heaven for something. I got a visitor while you guys were out.” She said, standing up and walking toward them.  
The boys looked at each other, confused. “Who?” They asked at the same time.  
“Gabriel,” she replied “and I got him to restore my memory.”  
The boys looked at her, grins spreading across both their faces. Lana held out her arms to them. Dean ran to her and picked her up, swinging her around. Sam pulled her into a hug as soon as Dean set her down. Silently she prayed for Cas to come back to the bunker. When he appeared she ran up to him and gave him a big hug. Castiel hesitated before wrapping his arms around her as well. “I take it something good has happened. Did you get your memories back?”  
“Yes Cas, Gabriel came to me and it took a little convincing but he removed the block.” Lana answered.  
“This is good. Now we can discuss strategies for dealing with Crowley.”   
“Speaking of Crowley…” began Sam, looking at his brother.  
“He called while we were out. He knows you’re here. He wants to chat.” Dean finished.   
All the color went out of Lana’s face. She needed to talk to Crowley. Alone. She knew what she had to do. “Okay,” she said. “But not tonight. I’m too tired to deal with him tonight. Let’s just have some dinner and go to bed. Sound good?”   
“Actually that sounds perfect.” Sam said, “Lana we were hoping that you’d do us a favor..”  
“What is it?”  
Sam looked to Dean. He said “Well there’s something we haven’t had in awhile that you used to make us all the time..”  
She laughed and said, “Yes, I’ll make you guys my lasagna. How does that and homemade apple pie sound?”   
“Like Heaven on Earth.” Dean said with a smile.  
For the rest of the night the four of them sat in the kitchen talking and laughing. Lana made her famous lasagna and apple pie. Castiel refused to eat saying all he could taste was molecules. After dinner, Dean helped her with the dishes and they decided to play cards. He pulled out her favorite kind of wine from the fridge, and grabbed a bottle of whiskey for Sam, Cas and himself. They talked about old times and told stories. At one point Dean had pulled Lana into his lap, whispering in her ear “I’m so happy you’re back sweetheart.” and kissed her cheek. She blushed, smiling sheepishly and Sam and Cas exchanged knowing smiles.   
They decided to go to bed at around eleven o’clock. They said goodnight, and went to their rooms. Lana put on a pair of sweatpants and got into bed, in case anyone decided to come in. She waited a few hours, until she was sure the boys were asleep, then got up. She got changed and as quietly as possible went to the supply room. She grabbed what she needed to summon Crowley, along with an angel blade, a flask of holy water and grabbed the keys Dean had left on the kitchen counter. She drove until she found an abandoned warehouse and drove behind it. She drew a devils trap on the ground and began to summon Crowley. After a moment he appeared “Hello, love. I’ve been looking for you.” He said, annoyed with the trap she’d drawn.  
“So I’ve heard. I need more time Crowley.”  
“You know how this works darling. You had your year.”   
“Yeah, but I didn’t know I only had a year. I was in Hotchkiss with no memory of what happened. You know that. I just need a week. Please.”  
“Where are the boys anyway? I know you’re staying with them.” He asked, and seeing her hesitation said “Oh tsk, tsk love, they don’t know what you’re doing do they? And, now stop me if I’m wrong, they don’t know the specifications of our deal. Am I right?”  
She sighed and ignored his question “Just a week, Crowley.”  
“Two days.”  
“Four.” she said, “Final offer, or I’ll go into hiding again.”   
“Well if you do that, I’ll just kill your little boyfriend.” He said with a smirk.  
She couldn’t let that happen to Dean. “Please Crowley, I’ll even meet you in the middle. Three days and you can take me. Deal?”  
He pondered that for a moment. “Fine darling, have it your way. Three days and then you come with me willingly.”  
“Deal,” she said, “Although I can’t speak for the boys. They probably won’t give me up without a fight.”  
“Oh don’t worry Lana, I’ll take care of it. They won’t be killed only restrained.”  
“Okay. I’ll see you in three days.”  
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He said gesturing to the devil's trap he was stuck in.  
“You’re the king of Hell, Crowley. I’m sure someone will come for you at some point.” She said and smiled, “See you in a few days.” She got into the Impala and went back to the bunker. At this point it was almost four o’clock. She entered the bunker silently, and put what she didn’t use back in its place. She walked into her room, turned on the light and nearly screamed. Castiel was sitting in the chair in the corner of her room.   
“Where have you been?”  
“What do you mean?” She asked, hoping he hadn’t followed her.  
“I mean I have been waiting here for over an hour. I came to check on you and you were gone. Where did you go?”   
“I couldn’t sleep so I went for a drive. Sorry if I made you nervous.”  
“It is fine Lana. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. A lot happened today.”  
“Yeah. I just needed to clear my head. I’m okay though Cas, thank you.”  
“Of course. If you need anything to call for me.”  
“Okay. Goodnight Cas.” He only nodded and disappeared. She felt terrible for lying to Castiel, but she didn’t really have a choice. She knew she needed to tell them. Just not yet, not until her days were up. She began to realize how exhausted she was. She smoked a cigarette and got ready for bed. She slept dreamlessly for the first time in months. 

Two days later, she woke up and got ready. The day before had been so much fun. Sam and Dean had taken her to a carnival in the next town over despite Sam's fear of clowns. They spent the whole day playing games, going on rides and eating fried dough and cotton candy. Dean had even won her a teddy bear. That night they had watched fireworks as she snuggled up next to Dean.   
She found the boys in the library, both their heads bent over books. She stood there for a moment, watching them. Happy she was with them again, and sad that she would have to leave them. She said good morning and went to the kitchen for some coffee. She felt Dean wrap his arms around her torso, “Good morning sweetheart.” He said softly into her ear.   
“Good morning to you Dean. You’re feeling affectionate today.” She teased him.  
“I’m just really happy you’re here. I missed you a lot.”   
“I’m happy too Dean.” Still encircled in his arms, she turned to face him. “Now that I have my memories back I realize why I never felt like I belonged in Colorado. It’s because I belong here, with you.”   
She lifted her head to meet his beautiful, green-eyed gaze. He lifted his hand and began to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” Their faces were just inches away from each other. Dean dipped his head down-  
“Hey Dean, I think I found something.” Sam said as he entered the kitchen. Dean and Lana broke away from each other Dean whispering ‘Son of a bitch.’  
“What did you find, Sammy?” He asked.   
They then began to explain that there had been a string of killings in a nearby town. They had determined that it had been a vampire since the necks were torn apart and the the blood was drained. Sam had been looking at the map marked with all the locations of the murders and determined from that where it might be hiding. “When do we leave?” Lana asked.  
“Umm..are you sure you’re ready?” Sam asked.   
“Guys. It’s been a year. I’m absolutely itching to kill something. So yeah, I’m ready.”  
Dean laughed and said “Okay killer, go get changed. I dunno if you noticed, but all your gear is still in the closet.”  
“Awesome! I’ll be ready in ten.” She said excitedly and ran to her room to get ready. She shut the door behind her and opened up the closet. She ran her hands across all the clothes and gear. She pulled out her favorite pair of thick black leggings, her long-sleeve black v-neck and her weapons belt and got changed. As she laced up her combat boots she heard a knock on the door. “Come in.”  
Dean opened the door with a box in his hand. “Thought you might want this,” he said handing it to her. She opened up and it was the .45 caliber Colt OHWS that Dean had gotten her when she turned nineteen. “It’s loaded with hollow points filled with dead mans blood, so you’re good to go.”   
She put it in the holster on her belt and wrapped her arms around Deans neck, “Thank you Dean, I had no idea you kept it..any of this stuff really. But I’m happy you did.”  
“I knew you’d come back to us eventually. I couldn’t get rid of it.” He said, a smile on his face. “Finish getting ready, we’ll be in the library.”  
“Okay, I just need like two more minutes.” Just need the finishing touch.. After he left the room she went back to her closet, and pulled one more thing out. Her favorite jacket. Bobby had given it to her years ago. It was real leather, soft and wrinkled with age. She used to wear it all the time, it made her feel closer to him. She pulled it on and headed for the library.

As they made the forty-five minute drive, Sam explained that they were going to an abandoned farmhouse smack in the middle of where the killings took place. They parked a few hundred yards from the property, and Dean opened up the trunk revealing his arsenal. Everything from holy water to crossbows, handguns to machetes. They both grabbed machetes and Lana grabbed her favorite weapon: a chakram. It has two rounded blades connected by a handle in the middle, roughly the size of an old record. It took a lot of training to handle the right way. Dean said, “Lana you’re with me, we’ll take the front and Sammy you head around back.” She and the younger Winchester nodded their heads and readied their weapons. They approached the house quietly; her and Dean on the front porch waited a moment to allow Sam to get into position. Dean opened the front door and they went inside. They didn’t see anyone at first, but that didn’t mean anything. They made their way through the first floor, checking all the rooms as the went along. They met up with Sam in the kitchen. “You find anything?” He whispered. Lana and Dean shook their heads. They heard a creak come from above them. In a silent, unspoken agreement they headed for the stairs. Dean tried to motion for Lana to stay behind but no way in hell that was happening. They slowly crept down the hall, checking all the rooms as they went. They began to hear more creaking from the last room on the left. All three hunters gathered around it, Dean counted down on his fingers. Three..two..one and kicked the door open.   
What they saw was more than they bargained for. Four vamps chugging human blood. There was a cooler full in the corner of the room. As soon as they entered all hell broke loose. The vampires snarled and two came charging at them full force. They fired their weapons, taking down the first one, but had missed the second. Dead mans blood didn’t kill a vamp, but immobilized it for a bit. The second vampire knocked Dean’s gun across the room, Lana got cast to the far side of the room, Sam was flung back into the hallway. She scrambled for her gun but the vamp was too quick; it kicked it away from her and charged. It knocked her onto her back and she heard Dean yell her name. As it was about to rip into her throat she wrapped her hands around her chakram and shoved it into its throat, slicing halfway through. She slammed the vampire onto its back and the chakram cut through its spinal cord. She got to her feet and looked to Dean; he had his back to her, trying to restrain it and grab his machete. She yelled, “Dean, duck!” He heard her and hit the deck, just as Lanas chakram flew across the room cut through the vamps throat, and stuck into the wall. She walked over and helped him up just as Sam staggered into the room clutching his arm. Immediately they both went to check his wounds. He had three gashes running the length of his upper arm, but he would be okay. Dean had a cut on his cheek, and his knuckles were bloody. They took care of the last one and Lana said, “Okay boys, let’s get home and get you patched up.”   
“What about you?” Sam said motioning to her head. She touched her forehead and felt warm liquid on her fingertips. She was so pumped up on adrenaline she hadn’t noticed the blood running down her face.   
“Oh..I guess we’ll patch me up too.” She answered with a smirk. “That was fun.”  
Dean laughed and said “Only you, Lana. C’mon let’s go home.”

When they got back to the bunker Lana got the first aid kit. She sat both boys down and got out the gauze, antiseptic and bandages. She took care of Sam first and then kneeled in front of Dean to clean him up. Once she was finished Dean stood up and sat her down. “Your turn, sweetheart.” He grabbed clean gauze, began disinfecting the cut, and cleaning the dried blood off her face. “I think you’re gonna make it.” He said with a smile.   
She giggled and said “Thanks Doc. What do you guys want for dinner?” They decided on steak, mashed potatoes and salad for her and Sam. Dean wouldn’t eat salad claiming ‘He was a warrior’ and ‘couldn’t live on rabbit food.’ She was walking toward the kitchen when Castiel appeared. “Hey Cas, what’s up?”   
“Dean I need to speak with you. Alone.”  
“Okay,” he replied. “You guys go ahead I’ll be right there.”  
She and Sam went to the kitchen and Lana grabbed what she needed to start dinner. This wasn’t good. It never was when Cas did that. It means Dean was going to be angry. When she finished cooking, she called for him. She set their plates on the table and they told Castiel about the pack of vampires they had taken out. When they were done, Lana grabbed their dishes and walked toward the sink. “So,” Dean began, “when were you going to tell us about your little chat with Crowley?” She froze for a moment, and then decided to play dumb.   
She turned on the sink, began rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. “What do you mean?” She asked as innocently as she could, not turning to look at him.  
“Don’t lie to me Lana, I know you took the Impala the other night and summoned Crowley. When were you going to tell us?”  
“Lana...if you talked to Crowley you can tell us. It’s okay.” Sam said calmly.  
“She did talk to Crowley.” Said Dean angrily, not taking his eyes off her. “You know Castiel has ears downstairs, and apparently Crowley’s bragging about how he has Dean Winchester’s girlfriends soul in the bag.”  
Lana turned and said sarcastically, “Dean, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”   
He slammed his fists down on the table, “Dammit Lana, this isn’t funny!”  
“No Dean, it’s not.” she replied as she turned to resumed doing dishes.   
“Tell us the truth! Did you summon Crowley?”  
Lana sighed and leaned down, elbows on the sink, rubbing her eyes. “Yes, okay? I talked to Crowley. I needed more time.”  
“More time for what?” Sam asked.  
“More time-” her voice cracked, tears stinging the back of her eyes, “More time with you guys. Just a few days. I just wanted a few more happy memories.”   
“What the hell did you agree to?!” Said Dean, rising from his chair and walking toward her.   
Still facing the sink she answered him in a whisper, “He gave me three days...two days ago. I told him I’d go willingly. Made the deal so that if you found out and fought, you’d be restrained not killed.”  
“Dammit Lana! Why would you do that?!” Dean yelled, “We would have protected you, we could’ve called Gabriel and-”  
She whipped her body around to face him, “He said he’d kill you Dean! I can’t let that happen!”  
“Lana-”  
“Don’t start with me Dean, it’s done.” She stalked out of the kitchen and down the hall. She went into her room and slammed the door behind her. She grabbed a change of the clothes and got into the shower. Only then did she let her emotions get the best of her. She sank to the floor of her shower, and cried her heart out. She didn’t want to leave them; she had to. Dean was so mad at her, but she had done this for him. She couldn’t let him die..the world was a better place with him in it. She’d do anything for Dean. Hell, she had sold her soul for him, and she’d do it all over again. She could only hope that he would understand.   
About twenty minutes later, she stepped out of the shower. She swiped her hand across the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red. She sighed, gripping the edge of her sink. Thinking about Dean and what he must be saying and thinking. She brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. She opened the door and saw him. He was sitting on the edge of her bed, head in his hands. “Dean…?” she said softly.   
He lifted his head and she saw the tears on his face. “Lana, how could you do this?”  
“I did it for you Dean, I couldn’t just let you die.”  
“No. I mean how could you tell him you’d go? I-I just got you back. You can’t leave me now. We can fight this. We can keep him away from you.”  
She sighed and sat down next to him. “No, Dean,” she said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t fight this. Crowley will kill you. He’ll keep sending demons until either you die, or I do. Either way one of us has to go.”   
Dean stood abruptly and paced around the room, running his hands through his hair, “Let him take me then! I’ll gladly go to hell for you!”   
“No Dean, I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you go back to the pit.”   
“Well I don’t want you to go either!” he shouted, “You can’t go with him Lana, I won’t let it happen!”   
She stood and walked toward him, getting in his face. “You have to Dean,” her tone matching his, “Sam needs you! Cas needs you! The world fucking needs you Dean Winchester, way more than they need me! I’m going, and that’s final!”  
“What about what I fucking need Lana?!” He said shoving her into the wall. “I need you alive. You just came back to me Goddammit! Lana, I fucking love you, I can’t let him take you to the pit!”  
She stared at him, shocked. “What did you just say?”  
He put both hands on either side of her face and said, “You heard me. I love you Lana.” He pressed his lips to hers.   
When he pulled away, she grabbed the front of his shirt and turned them around so he was the one pushed against the wall. “I love you too, Dean.” She kissed him again, her hands went around his neck and into his hair. She pushed her body against his and a low growl came from his throat.  
“Careful sweetheart, you’re gonna make me do something you don’t want me to.”  
“Who says I don’t want you to?” She said, raising her eyebrow and lowering her hands to unbutton his shirt. He buried his face in her neck, hands at her hips. She pulled his shirt off, and then her own. He pulled her to him kissing her hard, and passionate, exploring her mouth with his. He started kissing her neck, slowly making his way down as she fumbled with the button of his pants, distracted by his mouth on her skin. He unclasped her bra and threw it aside, pushing his bare chest against hers. One hand around her back, the other pulling off her sweatpants. He picked her up stepping out of his own pants and gently laid her on the bed. Slowly, he kissed from her mouth to her hips and everywhere in between. Suddenly Lana was anxious. She had had boyfriends before...but it had never gotten this far.   
Seeing the look on her face Dean said “Are you okay Lana?”  
“Yeah, I’m just nervous. I’m okay though, I don’t want you to stop.”  
He looked confused for a moment, and then it dawned on him. “Don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll take care of you. If you want to stop just tell me, okay?” She nodded. They spent the next hour wrapped around each other, kissing, biting and scratching. When he finished, they laid next to one another, her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. He said sarcastically “So...was I any good?” She smacked his shoulder and told him to shut up as he laughed. She got up and opened the window, grabbing a cigarette out of her pack. She started to put on her shirt, and he objected saying “Please don’t cover up Lana. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” She blushed and he laughed again, “Out of everything we just did, that makes you blush?”   
Suddenly Castiel appeared. Lana yelped and ran into the bathroom. “Cas! There’s such a thing as knocking first you know!” She yelled.  
Dean said “What the hell Cas?!”   
“I am sorry. I need to talk to you Dean.”  
“Can’t it wait till morning?” Dean asked angrily.  
“No. Crowley called Sam. He said he is coming for Lana tomorrow night at eight o’clock. We need extra wardings around the bunker.”   
“Crap.” Dean groaned as he sat up. “We’ll be out in a minute Cas.”  
He left and Lana came out of the bathroom wrapped in a robe. “Dean…”  
“Don’t say it Lana. Please.”  
“I have to Dean. Don’t bother. I have to go.” She walked over to the bed sat on Dean's lap. “You can’t stop it Dean. It’s going to happen.”  
“I might not be able to stop it, but I can try. I need to go talk to them Lana.” She let him up and sat back down on the bed. He got dressed and opened the door. Before he walked out he said “I won’t give you up without a fight.” and shut the door behind him. A single tear made it’s way down her cheek, because she knew what he would try to do. She also knew Crowley wouldn’t agree to it. She got dressed and as quietly as she could walked to library, keeping to the shadows. She listened to the boys talk about her and Crowley.  
“I can’t let her go Sammy. We need to fix this.”  
“I have put all the wardings I can around the bunker. He should not be able to get in.” Cas said.  
“I’ve been researching and looking for a loophole in demon deals. So far I haven’t found much. It seems like it’s pretty solid Dean. I don’t know if we’ll be able to stop it.”  
“We have to Sam! I won’t lose her again. Especially not to him.”  
“Well what are we supposed to do? We can’t keep her in the bunker forever Dean.”  
Lana entered the library. “No you can’t, you know I wouldn’t deal with that.” She said, crossing her arms.   
All three boys looked at her. “Well we can’t just do nothing Lana!” said Dean.  
“Dean, you have to let me go. I know you don’t want to, I know none of you want to.” She said, looking at all three of them. “But you have to. Like I told you earlier Dean, the world needs you guys. It doesn’t need me. I know you guys love me and I love you too. I don’t want anything to happen to you. So please. You have to let this happen. It’s late and we should all go to bed.” She left the library and went to her room and lit up another smoke. In all reality she was terrified. But she needed to be strong for them, like they had been for her through all these years. A few tears escaped from her eyes while she thought of leaving Dean, especially now. She wiped them away, put out her smoke and got into bed.   
A few minutes later she heard a knock at the door, “Come in.” It was Dean. He didn’t say anything, just pulled her covers down and picked her up. Silently, he walked to his room and laid her in bed. He got changed and laid next to her. Still not saying a word, he kissed her deeply, like he was trying to pour all his feelings for her into this one, simple action. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in as close as he could, and they fell asleep like that. The one and only time they would get to sleep next to one another.   
The next morning Lana woke up before Dean. He looked so peaceful. Gently she ran a finger over his jawline. In a perfect world, she’d wake up to him every morning. But the world wasn’t perfect, and this would be the only time. Not wanting to wake him, she slowly and quietly unwrapped herself from him and went to the kitchen. She needed to talk to Cas. Cas, it’s Lana. I really need to talk to you. Please come to the kitchen. She opened her eyes and waited a moment; Castiel appeared. “Cas, I need you to take down all the wardings.”  
“Why would I do that Lana?”  
“Because I asked. And because Crowley won’t stop until he gets my soul.”  
“I cannot do that Lana. I cannot let him take you.”   
“You have to Cas. He will kill all of you. I can’t let that happen.”  
“I do not understand Lana, we are trying to protect you.”   
“You can’t though, Cas. Do you want Sam and Dean to die? Do you want to die?”  
“No. That is not what I want.”  
“Then I need you to do me a favor. Take all the wardings down and when Crowley comes, let him in. I’ll tell you about the deal I made, if you swear not to tell the boys even after I’m gone. Deal?”   
Castiel nodded, noting her determination and said “Okay Lana. I will do all these things for you.” She proceeded to tell him everything that happened the day she made the deal with Crowley. The specifications of the deal, and what he had said three days ago when she had summoned him. After she had finished, Cas took a moment and then said, “Lana, I do not understand why you made the deal. But human emotions are not something that I am accustomed to. All I can say is that I will not like no longer seeing you.”   
She smiled, knowing Castiel didn’t know what he was trying to say. “I’ll miss you too Cas.” she said and hugged him tightly, realizing it might be her last chance to do so. With a kiss on his cheek Castiel left, and she decided to make breakfast for the boys. Well, it was more like a feast than just breakfast; she made bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, toast, pancakes and waffles. Sam walked in just as she finished cutting up the bananas and strawberries for the waffles. “Hey Sam. Coffee?”  
“Please,” he said, “This looks great Lana.”   
“Thanks Sammy, help yourself.” She said with a smile. She fixed him his coffee and put it down in front of him. “How’s the arm?”   
“It’s fine. Your forehead looks better. So...you’re really going with Crowley?” He asked.  
She sighed. “I have to Sam.”  
“You know he’s going to try to take your place.”  
“I know. I also know Crowley won’t go for it.”  
“How?”  
“Because Crowley wants to hurt Dean this way. He wants to watch him suffer, he doesn’t want his soul.”  
“Dean’s going to lose his mind without you.” He said, eyes not leaving his plate.  
“Dean will be fine. It’ll be hard but he’s strong. He’ll get through it. He needs to be here. He needs to be with you and Cas. You know, save the world and all that. I’ll gladly give up my soul so you guys can be together.”   
Sam put his fork down and stood up. He came around the counter and pulled her into a hug. He held her for a moment and said “I’m going to miss you, Lana. And thank you for saving my brother. We’ll find you.”  
“I’d do it all over again, if given the chance Sammy. I love you guys so much.”  
“We love you too, Lana.” Said Dean from the doorway of the kitchen.   
“Hi Dean. Want breakfast? I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” Lana said quickly, trying to avoid the subject.  
“Yeah, I guess.” He grabbed a plate, and started getting food while Lana made his coffee.  
“I’m gonna go into the library,” Sam said awkwardly “Thank you for breakfast Lana.”  
“You’re welcome Sam.” She set Deans cup in front of him, and sat down.   
After a few minutes Dean spoke “You know even if you go, we’ll come get you right?”  
“I know you’ll try. I just don’t know if you’ll find me. Hell is a big place, Dean.”  
“I don’t care. I will find you, and I’ll bring you back.”   
“Okay,” She said, not wanting to fight with him. Putting her hand on his, “Can we just have a good day, please?” He only nodded his head.   
They spent most of the day watching movies together, laughing and throwing popcorn at each other. They played music and danced around the library, dancing on the table and singing their favorite songs. Dean did an amazing rendition of “Eye of the Tiger” It was around five thirty when Sam had decided to make an early dinner. Dean put on his favorite slow songs, and grabbed Lana's hand, pulling her close. “I don’t want to lose you sweetheart.” he said, his voice thick. She could tell he was holding back his tears.   
She put her hands on either side of his face and said, “You will never lose me Dean Winchester. I will always be in here.” She replied pointing to his chest. “Every time you’re sad think of me. Every time you think you aren’t going to make it, think of me smiling at you. Every time you think you can’t do this, think of me telling you that you have to. Every time you hate yourself, think of me telling you that I love you. Because I do. I love you so much it hurts; I love you so much I would do anything for you. I will always love you Dean, and I will always be in your heart.” She kissed him lightly, and kept dancing with him. He buried his face in her neck, she could feel the tears falling from his eyes. “It’ll be okay baby,” She said, rubbing the back of his neck “I’ll always be with you.”   
They danced for awhile longer, until Sam called them for dinner. They went into the kitchen and ate all together. “Where has Cas been?” Lana asked.  
“He’s been looking for Crowley,” answered Sam “Seeing what he has planned.”  
“Oh.” she said. She looked at the clock. 6:45. She had a little over an hour. “You guys wanna play cards?” She asked, grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the freezer. They played gin for the next hour. Sam had won by a landslide. They laughed, drank and made jokes all the while, but each of them had been glancing at the clock seeing how much time they had left together.   
It was ten of eight and Sam was putting the cards away. “I love you guys more than anything you know,” Lana said “You mean the world to me.”  
“We love you too, Lana.” Sam replied. Dean only nodded in agreement, staring at the table.   
“We better get our weapons ready Sammy.” he said.  
“No way guys,” Lana said, “No fighting. We talked about this.”  
“No actually, you talked. We never agreed.” Said Dean rising from his chair. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to the weapons room.” He returned a few minutes later with a few angel blades, and holy water.   
“Dean.” said Lana, “Stop. Just let me go. We can’t win this one. I have to go.”  
“Goddammit Lana, I’m not giving you up that easy. He can’t get in anyways.”  
She looked at the clock. 7:58. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” She said as she walked into the library. The boys followed, weapons in hand. She turned to Dean and and grabbed his hand, squeezing as she said “I love you, Dean.”   
Castiel appeared and said “It is time.” Just as someone knocked sharply on the door. Without moving, Castiel did what Lana had asked of him and opened it. Crowley walked in, followed by somewhere between fifteen and twenty other demons. Sam looked shocked, Dean looked outraged. Castiel was staring at Lana, but Lana was looking directly at Crowley, a sad look on her face, as they marched down the stairs to meet them in the library.   
“Hello, boys.” said Crowley, then looked at Lana. “Hello love. Are you ready?”   
Before she could answer Dean said “No way Crowley, take me instead.”   
“No thanks, squirrel,” he said, an amused look on his face. “Been there, done that.”   
“Fine,” he replied pulling Lana behind him, “Then I guess I’ll just have to kill you.”   
Crowley laughed and said “You three against twenty demons? I don’t think so. Come along Lana. I don’t want to have to break our deal.”   
Lana stepped out from behind Dean and attempted to walk toward Crowley. “What the hell do you think you’re doing Lana?! Get back!” Dean yelled as he threw her behind him, Lana fell to the floor. Dean then started to attack. Sam and Castiel followed in suit. The demons swarmed on them.  
“Remember boys, harm and restrain, not kill!” Crowley yelled, laughing at their attempt to fight them off. The boys took out a few, Sam and Dean fighting back to back and Castiel using his hands to burn the demons out from within. But it wasn’t long until the demons got the best of them. They lined them up, their faces bloody. Dean still had a murderous look on his face attempting to break free of their grip.   
Crowley walked toward Lana, helping her up, he said “I kept my end of the bargain darling; it’s time to hold up yours.”   
“Just give me a minute.” she replied. She walked up to Castiel first. “Thank you Cas. I know you don’t understand human emotions, but I love you.” and hugged him.   
He whispered, “You are welcome Lana. I will see you again.”  
She went to Sam and said. “Thank you Sammy, for everything. I love you so much. Take care of him for me, would you?” nodding toward Dean.  
“Of course Lana,” he said sadly. “I love you too, and I’ll miss you.” She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. She went to Dean.   
“Dean Winchester, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I love you with all my heart. I will never ever forget you.” She said, tears starting to fall, “Remember what I told you,” poking her finger into his chest, “I will always be with you. I love you Dean.”   
“I love you too Lana.” he said, tears streaming down his face. “I’ll never stop looking for you. I will find you. I’ll bring you back to me, I swear.”   
She kissed him deeply and said, “I know baby. Take care of yourself until then.” Letting him hold onto that shred of hope. “Let’s go.” She said to Crowley. They walked up the stairs. Before they walked out, she looked back at them. Castiel was staring after her, knowing what she was walking in to. Sam and Dean both had tears on their faces, not wanting to let her go. She looked back at them and said “I love you guys. You are my family. I’ll never forget you.” She walked out with Crowley.   
“You didn’t tell them, did you?” he asked.  
“I couldn’t. It would only make it worse.” She answered.

 

One Year Later

 

“It seems I’m being summoned. I’ll be back soon.” Lana said. She arrived at the crossroad and recognized Sam immediately although his back was turned to her. She looked at devil's trap surrounding her. 'Typical Winchester', She thought.  
“Hello Sam.” She said.  
He turned, and realizing who it was said, “Lana..?”  
“Yes, it’s me,” she said as her eyes flicked to red. “Crowley allows me to make deals now. So tell me...is it Dean?   
“Yeah. He’s dying. The doctor gave him hours. A day at most. He’s had a death wish ever since you left.” he answered sadly.  
“Where’s Castiel?”  
“We don’t know. He’s been gone for months now. How long will I have?”   
“Oh Sammy,” she said her eyes cast down “I don’t want your soul.”  
He looked confused. “What do you want then?”  
“Well for starters, you could break this devil's trap.”  
He sighed and did as she asked, knowing she wouldn’t disappear on him. “What else?”  
“Don’t come after me Sam.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean we aren’t making a deal. I’ll fix Dean, but you can’t come after me. Promise?”  
“You can’t be serious. Since you left, all we’ve been doing is hunting down demons trying to find you. We had Cas and Gabriel look through all of Hell for you. Dean can’t concentrate on anything else. We can’t just not try at all.”   
“This isn’t fixable Sam. I’m lucky Crowley didn’t send me to the bottom of the pit. You can’t change this. There is no cure for this.”  
“Dean won’t like it, Lana. You know he’ll come after you.”  
“Then don’t tell him.” she said firmly. “I’m serious Sam. Don’t come after me. Deal?”  
Sam hesitated and said “Deal. But why are you doing this?”  
She sighed. “Because I still have a little humanity left in me. I love your brother, Sam, more than anything. And I care about the two of you.” she snapped her fingers. “Dean should wake up soon. Go to him.”  
“How can you get away with this? Just healing him without a deal?”  
“Crowley never told you why he was looking so hard for me?” she asked.  
“No. We never saw him again. Every time we tried to summon him but he knew Dean would kill him.”  
She sighed. “You don’t need to worry about making deals if Castiel isn’t around anymore. I’ll take care of you both. I’ll fix you when Cas can’t. And to answer your question, there’s a specific reason Crowley didn’t send his hellhounds for me. He didn’t want my body to be ripped apart. He didn't want to put me through that.” she looked to the ground for a moment, not wanting to tell him. But she knew she had to. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “I’m the Queen of Hell, Sam.” finally revealing her end of the deal. “I can do whatever I want. Take care of yourself Sammy.” And she was gone, leaving Sam shocked in the middle of the crossroad.

She watched the brothers over the years. Healing them when need be, when Castiel wasn’t around. She looked inside of their souls. They were ready. They had been to Hell and back several times. They deserved to be at peace. When they fought their latest battle, they were left bleeding out on the floor next to one another. She appeared to them. “Hi boys.”  
They looked up at her. “Lana..?” said Dean.  
“Hi baby. Listen; I can either let you guys go, or I can heal you..but I think you deserve some peace. You’ve saved the world enough.” she said with a sad smile, kneeling next to them.  
The boys looked at each other, and Sam nodded to Dean, reaching to hold his hand.  
“We’re ready.” Dean said. They were both looking at her with tears in their eyes. Dean grabbed her hand.   
Sam took her other hand, looked at her and said weakly “Thank you..” as his eyes closed.  
With his last breath Dean said, “Thank you Lana. I never stopped looking. I have never stopped loving you..” and his beautiful green eyes went blank, staring at her. She closed them, kissed both boys on the forehead and sat with them for awhile, crying over her lost family. She was only happy she could be there for them in their last moments.  
A few years later she was sitting in the study reading a book. Crowley was out dealing with something that had happened in the pit. Suddenly, she sensed she was not alone. She looked up and saw him. “Gabriel!” she exclaimed.  
“Hey sugar. I’m glad I found you.” putting his hand over her heart. “Good. There is still some left.” He said grinning at her.  
“Some what?”  
“You’ll see Lana. This might hurt a little, but it’ll be worth it.” He said as he placed his palm on her forehead. She felt a searing pain, and then nothing. She opened her eyes to look at Gabriel. Then realized where she was. It was Bobby’s kitchen. He smiled pointing to the living room, and she ran in. “Welcome to Heaven sugar.” He said from behind her. Everyone was there. Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Cas, Sam, Dean, even Bobbys friend Rufus who she hadn’t seen since she was seventeen.  
“There was still enough humanity left for him to bring you here.” Cas said with a smile. She began to cry as she ran to Bobby and hugged him tighter than she’d hugged anyone before. He smiled at her. They didn’t need words. His eyes were glistening. He had his daughter back.   
Ellen kissed her head and held her tight. “I missed you so much babygirl.”  
She hugged Jo, her best friend. Giggling with her as tears fell from both their eyes.  
She hugged Rufus. “Been awhile Lana. I’m glad you made it.” he said, smiling at her.  
She turned to Sam and Cas. “Thank you guys.” hugging them both tight. She turned to Dean, and kissed him. “I missed you so much Dean.”  
“I missed you too, more than you know. Thank you for looking after me and Sammy, sweetheart.”  
“Anytime Dean. I’d do it all over again.”  
“I know you would. But you won’t ever have to again. This is our Heaven. And now it’s complete.” He said with a smile.   
They never had to do anything without one another again. They were finally at peace, together, in Heaven.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction and one of my first short stories. I hope you liked it!


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